Positive Reinforcement Is Sexy
While giving direction, focus on positive reinforcement. Nothing can ruin a mood faster than telling them something doesn't feel good or isn't what you want. If your partner starts heading in the "wrong" direction, keep your language in the right direction.
"I really liked it when you were doing ____ can you do that again?"
"It was so sexy when you ____"
"I love it when you ____"
If sweet talk isn't cutting it, get a little physical with it! Guiding their hand, moving your hips, moaning responsively, or taking charge by changing the position yourself can all positively influence the direction you want to take things.